Advice and direction for those just discovering their caregiving personality or draw to parent another adult.
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#15
When do you know? I've done plenty of research, I've interacted with littles before, asked them questions and gotten to know them, and I've had partners that lowkey enjoyed when I would act more Mommy-like, but they probably would not have considered themselves littles.

However, if I am to take on the responsibility of being a true CG, I want to make sure I am fully prepared, so I can be my best for my future little, because naturally, they deserve nothing less. My standard for myself is likely so high that I will not naturally feel a point of readiness.

I know I have the devotion and the heart, but I worry about everything else so much. So what is a good way to tell if it's time for me to jump into looking for a little? What are things to consider?
#16
I feel like the answer is less exciting than one may think. You know when you’re ready to seriously commit to a romance with another person, who realistically will have traits you truly and deeply enjoy but also components about them self that do not please you. Commitment doesn’t mean marriage necessarily but it does mean that you choose to work as a team with this person despite what project you two may face together. There will be ups and downs, highs and lows, joys and sorrows. If you’re ready to work as a team through hardships, misunderstandings, hurt feelings, disagreements, and even fights then you’re definitely in the right direction. Nobody and no relationship will be all rainbows and sunshine, of course.

Caregivers are not magical, mythical beings. We really are just like everyone else, except we may feel less playful and we express our love for another in a different way by being parental toward our partners. Luckily, a little personality counters that perfectly since they are typically comfortable being more playful and appreciate parental-style affections. There are great positives in being appreciated for the way you show your affections. I think that appreciation is one of the components caregivers crave from these relationships.

As a caregiver it’s important to know yourself as well as what sort of partner would be ideally most compatible for you and what type of relationship you realistically can maintain. Truthfully, you can’t expect the fantasized “24/7, deeply regressed” life to be maintained more than a few weeks or months at best because you have to consider the mental health needs (such as communication as an adult with an adult, equal friendships, valid opinions, passions, hobbies, and the very crucial need to feel of value beyond simple existence) of your adult partner. You have to be realistic, with realistic expectations.

So, you’ll have to outline what you’re seeking, and what you need to be fulfilled. What regressed age range fulfills your desires to parent and display love to the best? What type of regression are you seeking—remembering that not all Littles are as playful or as shy as others? How will you realistically handle relationship issues, and how will you encourage your partner to meet you as an equal so that problems can be brought to the surface and dealt with appropriately? Then tack on your nonregressive partner criteria to filter through too. It’s a lot of work but worth it.

The community encourages a great deal of unrealistic fantasy that you need to weed through not only when interacting with potentials but also when being realistic with yourself. It’s okay to dream, and even to outright roleplay scenes or situations that are not truly replicable, but you have to stay grounded in understanding that CGL is a romantic relationship just like any other. You don’t have to give up fantasies but you may need to scale them back into being shorter term or more “scenes” than something constant and restrained to a defined box.

You will have to ask questions about your potential partner but also carry on lengthy discussion both within and outside of regression or parenting. You have to know their maturity capabilities because of the uncontrollable unknowns of life. As much as they, or even you, wish, they aren’t a child and must be held accountable for meeting your needs as an adult as well. You have to know how serious they will hold the relationship or if it’s just a fun roleplay game for now. You have to know that you can rely on them to give of themselves when you need it—because you will need it!

You have the task of not only enjoying their regression but also blossoming their adulthood. Littles realistically cannot maintain constant, never-ending regression without mentally suffering and you have to acknowledge that they have developed well beyond their regression. It must be considered and also fostered, cherished, and enjoyed. Littles need to feel useful and capable, but they will need your support and encouragement much more than a nonregressive adult. It isn’t that they aren’t capable, it’s that they’re unsure of themselves. So, you will have to harvest their capabilities and encourage them through healthy, necessary tasks like maintaining a rewarding career (Littles actually need this structure, accountability, socialization, and reward method)! Sit back and think through how you will provide emotional support and encouragement to help them make achievements.

So, when seeking a partner you must realize that you aren’t a childish, immature little, and you can’t be a desperate role player ready to “adopt” an entire orphanage of “children” just because you think regression is “cute”. You will have to check yourself that you aren’t just mass-flirting—it’s creepy and degrading not only to others but also yourself. Your maturity must shine in self-control and standards, not jumping into a scene, a roleplay, or a lets-call-each-other-something-that-should-be-special-without-addressing-that-this-is-a-display-of-love situation just because a little is very willing, or even outright pressuring, for some online play. Don’t use others so that you get to see “cute” and don’t let others use you by taking your love and making it less-than special. You should not only cherish but also, in turn, be cherished by the person you show your true, full self to in this deeply loving way. Take your time when partnering! Ask questions, decline “can I go ahead and start calling you Mommy?” until you are actually committing to a relationship—you can thank me later when you have a solid foundation built due to these first powerful decisions to make yourself be special to the person who you also choose.

Anyway, there’s some great resource points here:

https://www.littlespaceonline.com/app.php/CareRules

https://www.littlespaceonline.com/app.p ... equestions

https://www.littlespaceonline.com/app.php/adulthood
#18
I’m not sure what I said that’d make you feel “like a fraud” but I doubt you are untrue about yourself since you’re here, asking these sorts of valuable questions. Perhaps, at most, you’ve gotten swept up into fantasyland or roleplay (it’s so easy to, and some roleplay can be helpful in self-expression and exploration so it isn’t necessarily wrong) but that doesn’t make you dishonest, just needing a little reality check.

So, if there’s something you didn’t know or hadn’t realized then relax. You can make changes and improvements. You have plenty of growth left! I’ve been in the community for over 15 years and I’m definitely still experiencing growth as a Mommy.

Aside, I’m long winded but my tone isn’t harsh or cold. I know I’ve had complaints before because my voice online is interpreted as aggressively lecturing. I’m just passionate about the community but, I assure you, I’m not speaking to you in a condescending tone. I felt like your question was great, and one that should be asked frequently by those considering a CGL partnership.

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