Discuss regression caregiving, related relationship dynamics, and have open group conversation about being a caregiver. Share experienced advice and exchange ideas to help one another grow in knowledge.
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By Austin
#75
I'm new to this lifestyle. I say that but I'm mostly new to having a set word to describe my personality or way of thinking. I didn't know I was a caregiver I didn't know this was a thing but as I was reading I literally had a checklist on everything possible. I just got out of a two year relationship with someone who I wasn't enough for and it broke me in every possible way. She always told me she didn't care as much as I did and so forth but I was okay with that as long as she was okay and happy and got everything she wanted to make her life perfect. As I'm going through this she also said I wasnt a Dom enough for her. And I tried but I just can't be dominant I care to much and it makes me feel bad or weird I tried trust me for her. My thing is I have a huge amount of questions that I know can't all be answered at one time. But one question that comes to mind is do I have to have a regressed partner like I don't mind the cute and cuddly but I don't think I could work with someone who is age regressed. Does that mean I'm stuck in life I dont mind things like stuffys or cute things I love Disney movies but I don't want to be a father like figure I guess you can say. To me I feel like I want to nurture them help them make grown up decisions. Help them with life make sure that there needs are met feed them. Make sure there every day life is not a bad one and that they can come to me with everything and I'll answer it to the best of my capabilities. I want to be needed and wanted and to know matter. Another question is besides the age regression can I have a relationship with another caregiver or is that not something that usually happens. Do most littles have age regression. I also want to know sorry if this sounds like to much or not but why did my break up hurt me more than anything in the world. How did I love her so much and is there a way to not overly love someone as a caregiver. I don't really know what to say or word that correctly but I've been in multiple relationships and never have I felt the way this one ripped me apart before. And I think it's more of the fact of not being appreciated I don't know. Don't know if this is okay to vent about either just need some help.
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By Austin
#76
Also do I have to take the roll of daddy or everyone keeps saying I'm a daddy/Dom but to be sure I do not like being Dominant
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By Motherly
#78
Austin wrote: 7 months ago
one question that comes to mind is do I have to have a regressed partner
Nope. You can be with anyone you like. There are no rules or boundaries to this. Your personality as a Caregiver means it’s easiest to be with a Little on very superficial levels but that doesn’t mean you’re compatible with every person identifying as a Little or that Littles are the only people who will appreciate your love language.

You are more that just this one identifier.

Austin wrote: 7 months ago Another question is besides the age regression can I have a relationship with another caregiver
Sure. If you find you’re romantically compatible with a person who also identifies as a Caregiver then it could absolutely work out well.

Relationships are not so black and white. It is not just X goes to Y and that’s that. Relationships are 2 (or more in the case of polyamory) people working together to lead a fulfilling life both together and as separate individuals. Any 2 people could potentially have a successful partnership. Adaptation to your partner in various ways is always mandatory so it’s very possible even 2 very unlikely-to-be-compatible people could carry on a successful relationship together.

Austin wrote: 7 months ago Do most littles have age regression
All Littles are regressors. Not all Littles seek out to have an experience deemed as regression though. It’s becoming increasingly harder to find a Little who doesn’t want “immersion” or to be literally treated as a roleplay character (their version of online regression) online though. Be aware that a lot is massively inflated online and that many, many people live in RP while online that doesn’t really translate to reality or how they actually behave in person. Many Littles don’t even understand what it is they want “in real life”, especially if they’ve fallen into reading fantasy stories or never had a serious relationship. It’s definitely more complicated than it should be and we should work on improving this as a community.

Austin wrote: 7 months ago why did my break up hurt me more than anything in the world.
Loss is something everyone suffers from, and each person deals differently with each loss they experience. This doesn’t necessarily have anything to do with being a Caregiver or not. A loss is hard. A loss is a loss. A loss takes time, and that time absolutely varies from person to person and experience to experience. The loss of a relationship, of a partner, of a best friend, of a future…these are hard points for anyone to have to suffer through. You’re not abnormal or broken. You’re human.

Austin wrote: 7 months ago How did I love her so much and is there a way to not overly love someone as a caregiver.
Love is a very deep emotion. I think a question like this is something you should discuss with a therapist, as it sounds you may have fears of an emotional attachment at this point. Love isn’t strictly tied to being a Caregiver so this question doesn’t necessarily relate to it. It could just be a touch of fear you have lingering from your relationship loss. It’s normal to feel hesitant or even scared. Talking to a licensed therapist can help you work through those hesitations so that you can embrace whatever your future holds.

Austin wrote: 7 months ago Also do I have to take the roll of daddy
No. You don’t have to take on a parental term or treat your partner as a child. You don’t have to be dominating or involved in BDSM, which is absolutely and completely separate from Caregiving. You don’t have to do these roleplays. Someone out there will appreciate your natural inclination of devotion, guidance, protection, and care as your expressions of love without demanding you play a part. It may be best you not involve yourself too much in the community because the truth is most Littles are so swept up and engulfed in roleplay they forget Caregivers are people, not actors or personal servants to drain in effort to have an experience that they deem as regression.
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